Twelve Reasons Why I Vote for Democrats

A few years ago, James Anderson, wrote a great letter to the Editor on why he voted for Democrats.  We thought you might get a kick out of it.

Dear Editor:

Here are the 12 reasons I voted Democratic:

I voted democrat so that I can now marry whatever I want to.

I voted democrat because I believe that oil company profits of 4% per gallon of gas is obscene but the government taxing the same gallon at 15% isn’t.

I voted democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

I voted democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as I agree with what is said and no one is offended by it.

I voted democrat because I am way to irresponsible to own a gun and know that my local police will protect me from murders and thieves.

I voted democrat because I believe that people who cant tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don’t start driving a Prius.

I voted democrat because I’m not concerned about millions of babies being aborted as long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

I voted democrat because I think illegal aliens have the right to free health care, education and social security benefits and that we should take away the social security from those who paid into it.

I voted democrat because I believe that businesses should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as democrats see fit.

I voted democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

I voted democrat because I think it is better to pay billions for their oil to people who hate us but not to drill for our own because it might upset some endangered beetle, spotted owl, gopher of fish.

I voted democrat because my head is so firmly misplaced toward the south end of my body; it’s unlikely I’ll ever have another point of view.

No trees, Spotted Owls, or Red Cock-headed Woodpeckers were harmed in the sending of this message.

—James W. Anderson