1. I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
2. Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.
3. I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"
4. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
5. I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.
6. I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with purchase was a bank.
7. Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
8. Parents in Beverly Hills are firing their nannies and learning their children's names.
9. A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
10. Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.
11. They renamed Wall Street "Wal-Mart Street."
12. When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
13. The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
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From Jim P., a Real Conservative
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