Tuesday, August 2, 2011

MORT's Meanderings

Finally. A birth certificate we can believe in.

Thanks to technological repairs and enhancements to the often-maligned but, most spectacular scientific achievement, the Hubble Space Telescope, we have now been provided with one of its most unique revelations.

Peering through galaxies of gaseous space dust, beeelyuns and beeelyuns of stars into that astro-phenomenon, the Milky Way itself, space watchers at the Obama Space Watching Laboratory high atop Mt.Hussein on the island of KillerWhale-ia, Hawaii, have recently made an astounding discovery. You ain't not hardly gonna believe this one.

They've been able to isolate and identify an item that had been buried within all that space flotsam and obscured by the aforementioned gaseous space dust for, by their best estimate, nearly fifty years. What wuz it, you axx? None other than the genuine article: Bayrock Forshame Obammer's birth certificate. No kiddin' - this is it; signed by Moe Hammid, himself and counter-signed by Al Sharpton, Louie Ferrycan and the very Reverend Always Wright. It has since been validated by Snopes, The Huffington Post, the Secretary of Homeland Security, Nancy Pelosi and Casey Anthony. Now, is this the authentic document, or what?

President Obama was informed of the discovery and received the news with no outward change in his cool demeanor. Later in the day, he released a statement through Al Jazeera, promising to study the information and make an announcement regarding his official position a soon as he receives the findings of the Select Commission of sex bi-partisan members of Congress whom he personally chose to investigate the authenticity of this document.

What could be more fair than that?

There is every expectation among both the scientific and academic communities, that he will validate the document and be the first to release the information in what he has always claimed, is the most fully-transparent Administration in our nation's history. This is nothing more than he promised in each one of his beelyuns and beelyuns of campaign speeches.

Before being quoted on any of the above however, I want to check something in my dictionary. I've always confused the terms, 'Telescope' with 'Proctoscope'. And, I do want to be technically correct; it's a thing with me.

Conservative Commentary by MORT KUFF © 2011

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